8/22/10

The day to day experience of living with my MS remains pretty much the same. She gets readily gets up in the morning and donning the t-shirt of the day, cut offs and flip flops, gathering her book bag she heads off to the bus stop.

Technically, the bus is supposed to come around the corner and to our cul-de-sac, picking her up at our driveway. Bowing to the advancement of her ascent of the academic ladder to Middle School, I acquiesced to her walking to next street over for the bus. It's been just peachy up to now. I wait with baited breath to see how that works the first day it is raining... or cold. For now, she waits with her minions on the next corner.

I wave to her as I pass by, beginning my trek into work each morning. And that's the start of our day. She calls me at 3:45 each afternoon. The dialog is always the same. "Hi honey", I say. "Hi Grammie", she replies. "How was your day?", I query. "Fine". "Do you have any homework"?  "No" - or sometimes "Yes". Depending on that answer, I determine if she is able to a) go play now  or b) go play now  or c) go play now. I rarely make her do the homework before I arrive home. She plays with the minions and then I summon her home for dinner and the aforementioned homework.

My MS is bright...very bright. She is filled with potential that could take her to high places. She doesn't particularly like to apply herself. I have tried to help her see how important theses MS days are to her future. She looks at me like Sigourney Weaver's alien. The future? What the heck is that? Her future of course exists in the present and at most in the next 24 hours.

As I have mentioned, she is living with me at the moment for a multitude of reasons. Her mother lives about an hour and a half away. My MS goes to see her with her six year old sister every other weekend for about 36 hours. A smidge of a moment in time to spend with your mother. This weekend was to be a "mom" weekend. Selfishly, I admit to enjoying a bit of "MiMi" time to myself. Earlier on this past week, my MS announces that she is spending with night with "Kenzie" on Friday and she has already called and ok's it with her Mom that she go to her house on Saturday. "Okay....", I say. Knowing that it will hurt my daughter and not having control over that, I drop the subject.  An 11 y/o MS doesn't have any feeling of what it is like to be a mother. To love your children and hope and pray that you are doing what is best for them. So, she spent the night - not with "Kenzie" who had other plans after all, but with "Macie", and came home at 8:00 on Saturday morning and went to be with her mother.  I picked her up this afternoon at 4:00. Back to start a new week.

I confess to loneliness when she is gone. It seems that my life is her life. I revolve around her, yet I am lonely.